


With or Without you

by Greenscale



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Adventure, Babysitting, Cup of Tea - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hoth (Star Wars), Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, Implied Mpreg, KAW 2020, Loss, M/M, Mpreg, Omega Verse, Past Character Death, Post-Battle of Scarif, Post-Battle of Yavin, Sad, Single Parents, Sorry Not Sorry, Team as Family, force-sensitive Alexanrd Kallus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:02:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24021022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Greenscale/pseuds/Greenscale
Summary: After losing Zeb at battle of Scarif Kallus had to deal with his loss. Luckily Hera and rest of the Ghost family is there to collect the pieces and glue them back together.This is my KAW 2020.
Relationships: Alexsandr Kallus/Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios, Chewbacca & Han Solo, Ezra Bridger & Kanan Jarrus, Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla, Wedge Antilles/Biggs Darklighter
Kudos: 39





	1. Tender

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry I killed Zeb. But I had to do it for ... Because I had to. Ok, don't question my authority. xD

-Tender-

Kallus closed his eyes and tried to deny his nausea while leaning his head against the cold durasteel of Ghosts kitchen's doorframe.  
The last two months had been a true nightmare. He had been taking part in the battle of Scarif and Yavin IV or the one where Luke Skywalker had exploded The Death Star. Jacen Syndully had been born soon after both of those huge, fierce battles and everyone could see from miles away whose son he was.  
But most importantly Alexandr had started his long journey to survive without Zeb, and Cassian. Both of them had been brave and stupid fools he was missing dearly. So much it was making his heartache. But especially losing Zeb had hurt. Even they had not been bonded couple in words classical meaning and still, he would have called that stupid purple lasat as his spouse and love of his life if Zeb just would have let him do so.

There had been so much stress and big emotions that when he first had got nauseated at morning Alexandr had taught it was simply just the stress finally kicking in. It had started from so stupid things. Like the smell of kaff or simply the nerfstew served at the cantina of their base. But that had made Wedge puke too so maybe it was just coincidence and Kallus liked to think it like that. Then there was also motion sickness he hasn't had since being a cadet.

And this time the spinning stars from hyperdrive were the source of him feeling ill.  
Well. Except lately he had been constantly feeling ill and it was getting worse in the last three weeks.  
To Kallus's defence, he had realized quite fast what this was about when he finally at one night had realized that he might have been missing heat or two. Even his heats had always been quite subtle they had been there. He had just always taught that it would mean he was not particularly fertile and at his age, the fertility was already dropping like way too ripe shuura fruit. Zeb had been always the one who had been responsible adult and reminded him of contraceptive capsules, morning-after-pills and condoms.  
"Oh, stars ..." Kallus gasped when he realized that his pregnancy must have started when Zeb had told that he was going to go with Cassian to Scarif and they had wanted to do it once more. It had prevented him to tell others what Rogue One was going to do before they took off but it had been also a lot of fun.  
Hot tears were running down his cheeks.  
If Zeb would have known that Alexandr had forgotten to take the morning-after-pill while rushing to his aid to Scarif the Lasat would have called him a fool and idiot and growl at him. Blonde man smiled to this mental image his mind painted to him.  
And what about pregnancy? They had actually had one scare when Kallus had been quite afraid of being pregnant and not being a valuable member enough for the Resistance and everything. And Zeb had just kissed him and said that he would love to be a father one day. And that if becoming a father was going to be this day, it was going to be the happiest day in his life so far no matter what.  
And now Zeb was gone this child was all he had left from him.  
"Kallus?" He heard a soft voice asking his name.  
"Alexandr?"  
"Are you okay Kallus?" He heard Hera asking and felt how she placed a hand on his shoulder.

Ex Imperial had seen how Hera had watched him with worry at first but then there had been understanding and knowing. She had been kind enough to move the kaff served at the breakfast table as far as possible from him. That had made Sabine rose her brow too and Kallus was quite sure that girl, no, the young woman would soon figure out his secret, if haven't done it already. She might be alfa and probably not able to bear a child herself but she would recognize the symptoms.  
"Nothing I could not handle", Kallus heard himself replying to Hera and regretted it almost immediately. Hera might be twi'lek and not have secondary gender, but she had been recently pregnant and most importantly she had given birth only a few weeks ago and could have given him some golden advice and ...  
Despite his answer Hera just firmly took his hand at her own and started to lead still nauseated Kallus to the kitchen, putting him sitting at the bench.  
"Ginger tea", she said and looked at rebel captain knowingly.  
"Helps for pregnancy-related nausea for some humans. Still can't guarantee anything", she said and patted his way bigger hand gently.  
With shaky hands, Alexandr tried the tea. Ginger made his cheeks blush almost instantly but even the smell of ginger helped with nausea, making it a little more toleratable.

"Thank you, Hera", he weakly said and looked down to his still steaming tea.  
"It's all right", she said with the tone she was using when telling Jacen all was good and there was no reason to cry. She sat next to him and Kallus found himself soon burying his head into her general's shoulder to seek comfort.  
"Kallus ... Have you seen a doctor or nurse or med droid?" she asked and the blond man just shook his head.  
"I am sure all is right, but you should, just to be sure", she said and rubbed his broad back. It felt good. Really like Zeb had done it. Except Zeb might have actually learned it from Hera!  
"You are right", Kallus faintly admitted.  
"I just have tried not to think about or do anything about it because I'm afraid this is something related to stress...", he was crying again.  
"Stars I have never wanted to be pregnant in my entire life and now... I pray from the Force or Ashla or the Little Gods or anything that I am, because that's all I have left of him", Alexandr explained with steady voice even he was still crying.  
Hera hugged him tighter and gently combed his hairs with her fingers to soothe clearly upset human.  
"You know that it's not the truth", she gently said:" You were love of his life no matter are you pregnant or not and nobody can take that from you."  
Kallus sniffed and sadly smiled. Hera was very right. They had loved each other's and nobody could take that away from him.


	2. Last gift from my loved one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hera is a busy career mother, good thing there is Kallus to help her to take care of Jacen. A kind of a charachter study of Kallus and his feelings.
> 
> Part of my KAW 2020

\- Force-sensitive Kallus -

Kallus stood at the hangar and watched how Ghost was flying away. Jacen cooed at his arms and smiled to him.  
He had been grounded from potentially dangerous missions by Hera. Alexandre had protested but been actually just happy to not to be currently at the space. His motion sickness was getting just worse and mission, where they had needed to make a set of the hyperspace jumps, might have been a bit too much for him at his current condition. And Jacen needed someone to babysit him. So, to get two birds with one stone Hera had taught that Kallus could use some experience about babies before getting his own would arrive and ordered him to stay behind. Moments like this he missed Zeb even more.

The blond human looked at Jacen at his arms and a half-smile crooked his lips when the green hired kid smiled to him.  
“Well. At least you are cute”, he agreed to a little boy who made a huffing sound and extended his small hands to tuck his beard. Alexandr jerked his head backwards and made a small, disapproving tsk sound.  
The boy only giggled. Stars! If the Bridger boy was going to join them at one point, he was so going to be an inspiration to this young rascal! He and Ezra Bridger had never been very close, but there had been something … Something that had made it easy for him to read Bridger. He dearly hoped that wherever the boy, or now a young man, had ended up, he would be able to return home in one piece. Hera missed him, Sabine missed him and damn it, even Kallus himself was missing him.  
Jacen cooed at his hands and Alexandr sighed lifting the boy against his shoulder. The baby made excited whoosh sound and Kallus smiled again.  
He walked through the base holding the child and was thankful that due Jacen nobody was actually wanting to come and talk with him: They assumed that he was having his hands full of work with the baby. Kallus snorted a bit.  
He was far more resourceful than this and Jacen was a nice kid. Alexandr had been babysitting him from age of few days since Hera after all was a General so there had been maybe few hundreds of times, she had been needed at briefing room and at those times if Kallus has not been needed he took care of Jacen.  
Sometimes it had been so that all of the members of the Ghost were needed, and they had gone there taking the boy with them. Probably some nosy pilots even assumed that Kallus was another parent of Jacen but nobody had yet asked a thing. He was not very distinguished omega so probably they assumed he was a beta and Kallus could not care less because it was not important. Let them believe whatever they wanted.

The green-haired infant started to get tired and fuzzy just before arriving at the quarters. Kallus fixed his hold on the child but the unhappy huffing and gurking were clear signs that the kid needed his naps.  
“Sleep”, Kallus murmured a suggestion with the same tone he had heard Jarrus do while blind Jedi had still been around.  
He had learned this by watching the Jedi and it had worked to rebels too tired or too injured to understand their own best. The baby at his arms was also, yet, not understanding his own best so this suggestion thing was quite useful. He had always felt … something, he could not say what, looking after him. It was hard to explain, but while at battle or when he had still been working for Imperium he had sometimes just felt and known in his guts that doing this particular thing was going to be what he was looking for. Intuition he had taught before joining the rebellion and spending time with Jarrus and Bridger. Slowly Kallus had understood that the connection he had felt to Ezra and even to stoic Kanan had been something deeper, something he was not fully understanding.  
And something he had not talked to either of them, which he now was regretting. He had felt that similar connection, tingling before Hera had even started to show and even before she had told about expecting a child. He had felt the same tug even from young Skywalker he was not regularly in contact. And some others he had not known to be Force-sensitive, like princess Leia of Alderaan. And now Kallus was feeling the same tugging, belonging and sureness about his own child. He was not yet showing it, not at least when wearing his clothes, but he knew for sure that it was just a question of time.

Being an unbound omega, rising a Force-sensitive hybrid child. Well. That was not exactly the ideal situation to be, but Hera was an excellent example of how to do it right. And he was going to love Zeb’s last gift to him so much when they were born.  
No matter where they Force-sensitive or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still am kind of sorry that I killed Zeb. I also know that I am late from official KAW 2020 but yeah, currently I do nothing fast in my life: ended up into open heart surgery at 1.4. and still recovering from it so slowly mustering around my fics is just good to my health I assume. :D


	3. Dynamo - First time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sabine is a true dynamo, but what was her meaning to Kallus and Zeb

Alexandr looked at the hangar. It was getting late and he could see stars of their current location. The Rebel Alliance had decided to establish their new base on miserably cold and snowy Hoth since Yavin IV had been seriously compromised i.e. it was now known location to Imperium and that made it dangerous to stay. They had left from there after the battle of Yawin IV, and just living at temporary places, like at orbits of big asteroid fields where Empire had troubles to detect them.  
That Hoth business had just been decided at this late-night meeting he was leaving. Alexandr yawned and walked up the ramp of the Ghost. He had given up his temporal room so that Wedge could have it, his friends had offered a spare bunk at their rooms for the young pilot but since the kid had not yet got over of losing Darklighter Hera had suggested him getting his own room.  
Kallus understood him way too well. It was just sad play of the fate that young Darklighter had survived at Academy and then at the battle of Scarif just to be blasted in atoms at the battle of Yavin IV.

Alexandr absently rubbed his belly. It was starting to get visible and he had had to ask new clothes from their quartermaster who had been more than understanding when realizing what this was about. He and his partner had two kids on their own, so they had understood each other’s, and the quartermaster had probably known better than Kallus what he was going to need in following last months of his pregnancy.  
A new, loose jacket he had got there was hiding most of his … baby bump (stars he hated that name) and would do it quite some time. New trousers supported his waist very differently and were comfortable to wear. A small, fluttering kick made Kallus put his hand over the spot where he felt that little kick. He was not able to smile, he had tried, stars he had, but when feeling they moving for the first time, and understood what it was, ex-imperial had burst in tears middle of their briefing and had to be excused to leave.

That was probably when everyone had found out he was pregnant. Well, at least he had not got any stupid comments about getting fat or getting too soft as some omega males were getting from ignorant and narrow-minded fellow soldiers. Or other species not aware of Human biology. To them, that would have been even somehow acceptable since Kallus was not either aware of biology of other species.  
When taking the jacket off it was clear as a day.

He walked up the ramp of Ghost and he could not help but think about the first time he had walked this ramp. The blonde man leaned his hand at the dura steel wall. He had been so ill at first here. The first hours were just rush of adrenaline, then it had kicked him.  
It had been a different time, felt like something happened ages ago. Thrawn’s courtesy had left him bruised and sore. To be precise: three broken ribs, torn ligaments, concussion, broken nose, bruises, dislocated knee which had been popped back but it still had hurt. There had also been a cocktail of drugs in his systems that the Empire had used to interrogate him.  
While escaping it had not been so bad, but it had hit later making Alexandr drop at the middle of conversation with Hera. Literally drop.  
They had been really worried about him and it still made Kallus a bit ashamed. Especially since he had not himself realized how bad it had been.  
But to his defence: Kallus had not used to be the one who was looked after. Or to it that someone, in general, was even interested in him.

“Did you have fun?” Sabine suddenly asked and Alexandr startled. He had not realized that he already was at the kitchen’s door. Here he had collapsed for the first time after Thrawn incidence.  
“Oh, I had no intention to scare you”, Mandalorian girl said and smiled softly her brown eyes were sparkling. Kallus smiled back and snorted a bit.  
“Well. It was not your intention like I suppose no briefing is supposed to be fun”, he said, and Sabine chuckled with agreeing tone. Zeb would have made a similar joke, but way worse.  
“I made some ginger tea for you, care to join for a cup?” she asked and without hesitation, Alexandr agreed.  
They drank in silence: both were clearly thinking something else. The shabby kitchen was homelike and full of different kind of memories and sings of life. And there were things they still would have wanted to share with their loved ones already gone.  
“Zeb kissed me here for the first time”, Alexandr finally said and kept his eyes at the table, letting his left hands fingers rim the edge of the teacup.  
“I know”, Sabine said and when being able to hear her smug smile:” Told him to do it.”

“So… this’s all your fault?” the blonde man asked with an amused tone.  
“Yeah.”  
“And you have no regret?”  
“Not even a single one.”  
Alexandr would have never guessed that it had been Sabine to give the final push.

“Sabine Wren, you are a horrible woman”, Kallus said softly and could saw how she was smiling.  
“I know. And I’m proud of it.”


	4. Solo mission - Undercover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's bring Han Solo in!

\- Undercover - 

Hera looked at Kallus when straightening strap at his belt.  
“I don’t like this idea you are taking part to a mission like this”, she said and bit her lower lip. The tall human let out a small huff.  
“Says the woman who flew a fighter to a battle while her contractions had started”, Alexandr friendly reminded her. Hera shook her head.  
“There was no chance Jacen would have born there!” She protested and was quite sure about what she said. After all birth of Jacen had taken almost 26 hours so yeah, it would have been highly unlikely for her son to appear at middle of the battle. But the boy, on the other hand, was the child of his father and Kanan have had few VERY BAD timings. So maybe Kallus had a point in this one.  
“As you say”, he said and smirked making Hera playfully slap him to the chin. Alexandr smiled and straightened his back.  
He was wearing a loose black jacket decorated with Corellian stripes and blue Corellian cargo pants with red stripes. His tall frame hid still quite well his baby bump, but his posture was not as good as it had been since the muscles were needed to support new weight around his hips.  
“Oh, look at you”, she said and smiled a small wavery smile. Alexandr was a handsome man. He was not like the dainty little creature’s omega males were traditionally told to be and Hera had to confess that she presumed him being alfa or beta, but now she really knew better. They had learned to know each other’s better during the time and she really did approve Kallus’s expertise in many fields.  
“Besides... What could go wrong? It is only a supply run?” He asked and lifted an eyebrow knowing very well that there were literally hundreds of things that could possibly go wrong.  
And child inside him knew that too, making a small kick. He sensed the warmness in the Force. Their child was beautiful through the Force. He knew that even if Zeb had been there, he would not be able to sense their child same way than he did, but surely lasat would have agreed with it that they had made a small miracle.  
Kallus hummed and touched the spot making Here snort.  
“They have an opinion about this mission”, she said and made blonde man chuckle.  
“Naturally. I this family there is always someone telling you how things should be done”, he said, and Hera laughed. 

“But seriously, Hera, I have to feel that this mission won’t be it how a smuggler like Han Solo is going to die.”  
Twi’lek rolled her eyes.  
“But how about one Alexandr Kallus?” she asked and rise one of her tattooed eyebrows.  
“I have a little one to rise”, Alexandr said and Hera shook her head.  
“You know what I mean but fine.”  
Then she sighed.  
“You remember who you are supposed to be?” she asked, and Kallus nodded.  
“Besides, Solo will take care of the talking. He claims that his rusted bucket of bolts is fastest in the galaxy so even if something goes wrong, we would not be in exact danger.”  
“Still. Playing with Pyke syndicate is not the safest option, captain”, she gently reprimanded Kallus’s from his overconfidence.  
“Hera…” Kallus took her hands into his own.  
“I know the risks, but I can’t just stop functioning because of it that something could go wrong.”  
Hera gave him a sad smile and 

\---

An easy job, or at least that how it should have been: contacting pykes to buy medical supplies, buying these under a false identity and flying away. 

“How? Could you forgot that you have an ‘unfinished businesses’ with pykes?!” Kallus shouted and shoot a blaster bolt making one of the attackers fall and stay down. The pykes had not been happy when seeing Han Solo at the yard of their unofficial trading post. 

“Hey! It is not my fault if they are still missing after a few little crates of ammo and ratio bars!” Solo shouted over the firefight.  
His first mate shouted in shyriiwook that Solo shouldn’t have sold those by himself and Solo snipped back something Kallus was not able to hear properly but it sounded some kind of argument about it that it had been more profitable that way.  
“Luke! We need you! Now!” Alexandr heard how Solo shouted thru the commlink. Skywalker had been their pilot. Kallus was grimacing. They should have made Solo stay at the ship and Skywalker take part to the trade negotiations!  
Force screamed and Alexandr dodged behind a crate just to evade a bolt clearly aimed to his head. 

His child was kicking him and with the weight, he had gained due the pregnancy Kallus was not feeling his body and movements as normal as they … used to be. He tried to take a better position and was making a sound of discomfort when he hit his bad leg to the hard crate he had not noticed.  
Solo gave a look to his direction.  
Alexandr was not surprised that Han Solo was alfa after all the smuggler was behaving just like the stereotype!  
And no matter how much he was not Kallus’s alfa the instincts of his secondary gender were kicking in and letting a pregnant omega to feel uncomfortable. Or even let the pregnant person take part in the battle!  
“I’m fine!” Alexandr had to shout to Solo to prevent him from rushing to his side. Solo was surprisingly good guy even he was trying to be a tough guy. He would be a good father one day Kallus was sure about it.  
_“Be ready! There in 30 seconds!” he heard Skywalker’s voice through his commlink._

Hera so was going to kill him when hearing the details of this mission. But then she would be happy that they were back early.

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is late from KAW 2020 but meh. I had started to write this before I even realized KAW was coming before it hit me.
> 
> I am kind of sorry of killing Zeb, but choo choo for hurt/comfort train is leaving from track 3.


End file.
